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2 years later, I’m still here.

by Ana Marwan

It’s been two years since my last entry and a lot has happened/changed in my life since then. Honestly, I’ve typed and re-typed paragraphs, deleting them and then rewriting them for the past 30 minutes and yet I still have no clue what to write. It feels as though I’ve lost the knack to write yet it’s still a channel I wish I could utilise frequently — not as a “creative” outlet (I think my copywriting days are long gone) but, kinda like a journal? Idk.

So, what’s new?

Well, I just started a new job. I’m still trying to adjust and find my rhythm but I fear I’m just not as fast as they expect me to be. I’m also getting bouts of Impostor Syndrome but I’m trying to not let it affect me that much. It’s like… I really wanna prove my worth, and how I could add value to the team but I’m pressuring myself to do it ASAP and that’s when I get panicky and anxious about doing shit right. Yeah.

I injured my lower back. I got two slightly bulging discs and I feel hella miserable because of it. You see, I’ve always been exercising one way or another. I went for TRX classes for about 2 years, did a lot of circuit/HIIT training, boxing and recently, CrossFit. I was in Singapore when I injured my back (or when my back decided to be done with life) and the pain was INTENSE. I’ve never felt that kind of pain where it hurts to sit, walk or even lie down. Thing is, a back injury isn’t like getting the flu where you can pop a few Panadols and sleep it off. It’s been 4 weeks since my injury and I still feel a very dull ache when I do certain movements.

And honestly, it’s depressing. I can’t do CrossFit. I mean, I can la… but I have to scale workouts down and it’s boring. Hella boring. I can’t believe I’d say this but I actually miss feeling winded as fuck doing 30+ burpees in a workout. Or feeling like my legs and thighs are gonna fall off doing thrusters and wall balls. Or being forced to do a 1.5km run (cumulatively) in a workout as someone who hates running. These are things I’d dread doing in a WOD but now… I miss it. The most depressing part is that, I have no idea when I’ll be able to do all of this again. I know I’ll get there. But the recovery process is gonna is gonna be long and…. boring.

On a brighter note, I booked my first solo trip to Seoul this November which I’m super excited about. I’ve always wanted to travel alone and I’ve done SOME bits of exploring on my own in my previous trips. I’ve walked around Sydney and Tokyo alone, but it was always like a few alone days out of a trip with a friend. And I’ve always wanted to visit Korea — I love K-Beauty and some K-Drama. I’m very indifferent about K-Pop, though I like Black Pink. But the culture, style, and cuisine intrigues me. I plan to also squeeze in a DMZ and Joint Security Area tour while I’m there so I can get a glimpse of North Korea too. I think forking out a shit ton of money for that tour will be hella worth it. Oh and the truckload of K-Beauty products I’m gonna bring back, omg this trip is going to drain my bank account.

So that’s that. Let’s just hope it won’t take me another 2 years to come up with another entry.

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Travel Diaries #8: San Francisco, California

by Ana Marwan

Ya’ll must be thinking: wait, San Francisco?!

Yep, I went there during Chinese New Year 2017 for work actually (right after my Japan trip), and of course, I had to document some non-work outings we’ve had there. It wasn’t much, but it was enough. It was an interesting period to be in San Francisco, because when we reached there, we found out about Trump’s executive order, barring Muslims from 7 countries to enter the States. Though I wasn’t directly affected, we heard about the protests that happened throughout the country (a friend who flew in a day later was greeted by a huge protest at the airport).

California Academy of Sciences

I was super excited for this because I love going to science museums. I thought we’d only spend a few hours here but we were there for half a day LOL. Saw an albino alligator, checked out the planetarium show (I fell asleep during this, not because I didn’t enjoy it, but jetlag), went on an earthquake simulator… it was pretty cool. I even got to touch a starfish!

California Academy of Science, San Francisco, California.

Eating out in San Francisco

I’m not a coffee connoisseur but I can say that the coffee I’ve had in SF were pretty good. A few memorable ones: Snowy Plover at Andytown (a refreshing mix of espresso and Pellegrino, topped with whipped cream) and the Nitro Cold Brew at Mazarine. Food-wise, oh my god I have so many favourites. In ‘N Out was magical. So was The Halal Guys (we queued in the cold for this — WORTH IT) and Chipotle. I want to go back just for the food.

Golden Gate Bridge

We didn’t get to visit the Bridge on our first few days there. And when our conference started, we didn’t have time to get to the Bridge before the sun sets. So we only managed to go there on our last day there. It was a foggy day since it rained a bit so we didn’t get super clear shots of the Bridge. But what we got was enough :’)

It’s such a blessing to be able to visit SF even if it was for work – I hoped that with this trip, there will be tonnes more American adventures to come for me. Afterall, I do need to utilise my 10-year US visa hehe :)