Yeap… you read it right. I’ve started a Youtube channel — I’ve always had a Youtube channel, but I’ve only ever uploaded random videos of myself, my friends, as well as random concerts I’ve been to over the past few years. But I’ve always wanted to try vlogging, to branch out and do videos. So yeah. Here you go, my first vlog :)

I fell for him and he gave me a reason to walk away

Some people say that feelings can’t disappear in a blink of an eye. I used to think that was true, up until a month ago.

You see, in late 2015, I met a guy. He was, cute, friendly, attentive, understanding, well-mannered, everything I could’ve hoped for in a guy, he was that. I knew I was developing feelings for him after a few meetings, and around January, I knew I’d fallen for him. Despite that, I didn’t confess my feelings because I thought it was too soon and it would somehow jeopardise what we had, although I knew he knew.

Every time we’d meet up, I’d feel so happy, so giddy with excitement at being with him. I wanted to know everything about him, just like how he’d wanted to know about me. It felt like my feelings towards him were mutual, and it felt great. The only thing I didn’t like about him was his texting habit, which should’ve rang the warning bells.

Because we don’t live near each other, we’d only get to see each other about twice a month? Maybe less? I guess I wanted to talk to him, text him in between meetups since, y’know, we don’t get to see each other much but he’d disappear for a day or two. Which annoys me to no end. I’d bring this issue up and he’d apologise and then I’d feel fine, making up reasons in my head to justify this for him. It’s ridiculous, looking back, how emotionally invested I was in this guy when all he had was a blatant disregard of my feelings.

[Read more…]